In my somewhat limited experience, the husband (who wasn't a great dad) refuses to believe that there are problems that need his attention. And if their partner insists there are problems, they have sole responsibility of the imaginary problems. It's a relief to shed a clueless partner. Love from wise(?) Aunt Kris
Hi Aunt Kris! What a lovely phrase—to "shed a clueless partner"—and something I've never done (thank god) but I can imagine the relief it brings. A good partner definitely needs to acknowledge problems, even those that he doesn't really see. Thanks for reading and for sharing your (indeed) wisdom. Love you!
Super interesting paradox re the women being relatively ok despite their identity being more closely tied to parenthood. Had never thought of it that way. Maybe women are typically happier because divorce gives them a break from that identity?
Yes, a paradox indeed! My 50-something divorced single friend dating in New Orleans, mentioned in the article, said the same thing you have: the women are happier because divorce gives them a break from taking care of everyone else. Or as you've put it well, from that identity so tied to parenthood—a selflessness, or self-negation, that I've always personally been very afraid of!
Thanks for your comment and for thinking about all of this with me.
You're definitely not a sad dad. And yes, dating is a whole big thing that doesn't necessarily enrich one's life all the time, no need to participate if you don't feel inclined. And it depends so much on where you're located, who's in the town with you, etc. I do have to say that moving abroad can shake things up a bit, with new faces and new energy!
Do you know that my life motto, "there is always another love," is from Rick Blackwood's Sex and Violence in Cinema class, which I was a TA for?! You weren't a TA with me, right? (My memory is so bad.)
In my somewhat limited experience, the husband (who wasn't a great dad) refuses to believe that there are problems that need his attention. And if their partner insists there are problems, they have sole responsibility of the imaginary problems. It's a relief to shed a clueless partner. Love from wise(?) Aunt Kris
Hi Aunt Kris! What a lovely phrase—to "shed a clueless partner"—and something I've never done (thank god) but I can imagine the relief it brings. A good partner definitely needs to acknowledge problems, even those that he doesn't really see. Thanks for reading and for sharing your (indeed) wisdom. Love you!
Super interesting paradox re the women being relatively ok despite their identity being more closely tied to parenthood. Had never thought of it that way. Maybe women are typically happier because divorce gives them a break from that identity?
Yes, a paradox indeed! My 50-something divorced single friend dating in New Orleans, mentioned in the article, said the same thing you have: the women are happier because divorce gives them a break from taking care of everyone else. Or as you've put it well, from that identity so tied to parenthood—a selflessness, or self-negation, that I've always personally been very afraid of!
Thanks for your comment and for thinking about all of this with me.
Love the "There is always another love" ;-)
Also, very interesting to read. I'm not a sad Dad (never married and no kids), but I'm not actively dating either and don't really feel inclined to.
You're definitely not a sad dad. And yes, dating is a whole big thing that doesn't necessarily enrich one's life all the time, no need to participate if you don't feel inclined. And it depends so much on where you're located, who's in the town with you, etc. I do have to say that moving abroad can shake things up a bit, with new faces and new energy!
Do you know that my life motto, "there is always another love," is from Rick Blackwood's Sex and Violence in Cinema class, which I was a TA for?! You weren't a TA with me, right? (My memory is so bad.)
Yes, I TAd with you for Rick and recognized the quote from him ;-)